Chapter 29: The Birthday Blog Post

It’s my 29th birthday and yes, the birthday blog post tradition continues! I just reread last year’s birthday blog post and I remember the uncertainty and doubt I had while writing it. Since then, I have had a lot of ups and downs, and certainly a lot of change. I had no idea what the next year would have in store for me. I just knew that my main focus was to work towards remission again.

I remember waking up on my birthday last year in such horrible pain. I spent the morning responding to text messages while curled up in a ball on my bedroom floor. I couldn’t eat anything and I had a facial and a workout class lined up that morning that I couldn’t miss. I pushed through, but almost didn’t make it to my birthday dinner with my family. I still couldn’t eat anything and the pain was lingering. It was one of those birthdays I don’t really want to remember.

Today, I’m waking up feeling energized, happy, and ready to tackle the day. The possibilities seem endless and I truly feel like I can conquer anything after the year I had. Ever since my colonoscopy in May revealed that I was in full remission, I have steadily continued to feel better. This is the strongest and healthiest I have ever felt.

On a more personal note, I got engaged this year and it was the best day of my life. Since then, we have made a lot of progress with wedding planning (October 2027 can’t come soon enough!) and I’m so excited for what the future brings. I started seeing a chronic illness therapist who is helping me with my anxiety in all aspects of my life. I am able to perform better at work and set goals that are actually achievable. And I still have the privilege of teaching MBA students, which is something I am really passionate about. Throughout all of this, I haven’t had to worry so much about where the closest bathroom is or what my next meal will be. The sense of relief I feel is incomparable to where I was mentally last year.

So what have I learned this year?

I’ve learned that patience and trusting the process is key. When I first made the medication switch to Skyrizi, I wanted it to heal me right away, which is not a realistic expectation. Anything IBD related comes with a lot of trial and error, and I knew that. Deep down, I just wanted to jump straight to a solution to the problem (as someone who is a fixer). But it’s important to consider the steps it takes to get to the solution. This is something I’ve had to apply to other aspects of my life as well, not just chronic illness. It may take time, but there is always something greater ahead that God has in store for us. I’m living proof of that right now.

I recently read somewhere that chronic illness is not a death sentence, but a life sentence. We don’t get to choose when we feel good or bad. Often times, feeling bad comes at the most inopportune time. It’s just something we have to learn to live with and manage. This year, I will become a wife. Hopefully, it will also be the year that I continue to build on this strong foundation so that I can stay in remission for many years to come. I am beyond grateful to be healthy on my birthday this year and actually enjoy the day with my family and my fiancé. I truly believe that Chapter 29 will be my best chapter yet.

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