Out With the Old…In With the New

I am 28 years old today. I always tend to get a little nostalgic on my birthday and writing a blog post just seems to be the perfect way to express how I’m feeling as I turn another year older. I was reading my birthday blog post from last year and I felt that uncertainty again, but also the high hopes I had for 27.

I’ve been quietly struggling with my health the past few months. I survived a tough flare in April/May in the aftermath of food poisoning that I never quite recovered from. I had a wonderful summer spent doing things I love with the love of my life, and little to no health issues. But since September, I have slowly felt myself slipping further and further into this flare. I’ve had more frequent bad days than good days and it has impacted every aspect of my life, as much as I don’t want to admit it. Dealing with debilitating symptoms like pain, fatigue, loss of appetite, weight loss, anxiety, nausea and frequent bathroom trips doesn’t make it easy to move through my daily routine.

As someone with chronic illness, we tend to live in this constant state of fear. Fear that our disease will come back at the most inopportune time. Fear that our medication will stop working. Fear that this time the flare won’t end. I met with my Utah doctor last week and we decided together that it’s time to switch my medication and move to another biologic, Skyrizi. It’s devastating to hear that my current medication has failed. I’ve been on Humira for six years and it has been a saving grace for me. I was able to live my life without that fear. Now as that fear creeps back in, I know the right thing to do is to switch to a new therapy, but it doesn’t mean that I won’t feel some type of way about it.

Leaving Humira behind will be a grieving process. I still remember going into my doctor’s office to receive my loading doses before driving to Oakland for an A’s game with my family. They showed me how to inject myself and I came to terms with my new normal. I had high hopes that this medication was going to be the thing that fixed me. And it did. Until now. But I can sit here and feel grateful that I made it this far. It takes some people years to find the right medication and I’m lucky to have found that relief so quickly after my diagnosis.

Tomorrow is my last Humira injection. It will be a tough day mentally, but I am hopeful that switching to Skyrizi will provide me the relief I’m looking for long term. I have to do this for me and for my future family, so there’s no choice but to stay positive. Not only is this a turning point in my health journey, it feels like a turning point in my life. Turning 28 feels like I’m entering a new chapter, and I couldn’t be more excited and hopeful that it will be everything I’ve ever dreamed of. So here’s to hoping that going out with the old and in with the new will bring me peace of mind, body and spirit this year.

If you are part of the IBD community and taking Skyrizi, please reach out to me! I would love to hear about your experience.