Life’s Big Moments

With a chronic illness, life’s big moments feel diluted. When I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, I felt like all of life’s big moments that I imagined for myself were taken away. I couldn’t picture them anymore. Instead of thinking long-term, I was thinking about the short-term. How was I going to make it through each day? Now being in remission, it’s starting to feel like I can grasp those big moments again.

I never thought about the long-term effects IBD would have on me. As the days go by, I recognize more traumas that I otherwise would not have had. IBD affects every aspect of my life, but it doesn’t have to control it. Every day when I wake up, I make a conscious choice to not let my disease control my thoughts or actions. This is not an easy task and some days I am better at it than others.

In the past few years, I have had a lot of accomplishments to celebrate. I completed my master’s degree, I got a job that I love, and I just finished my first semester of teaching a college level course. This was a huge step in my career and professional journey and I cannot imagine having done this a few years ago when I was still figuring out my disease. Stress is a huge trigger of symptoms for me, but somehow through all this craziness my students have managed to keep me grounded.

It’s big moments like these where I can sit back and be grateful for where the rocky journey has taken me. I am a big believer in continuous learning and I know I am not done learning just yet. If my students taught me anything this semester, it’s that I don’t know everything – and I can’t know everything. We are all just doing our best each day, and that is good enough.

As an IBD warrior in remission, I can finally picture those big life moments and that is an incredible feeling. Getting to this point feels like it should be a celebration in itself. So I choose to trust in the plan God has for me and keep moving forward because life is not meant to be lived in fear.

How do you celebrate life’s big moments?