After being diagnosed with a chronic illness, I lost a lot of my self-confidence and it wasn’t easy to gain it back. I thought I would never have the chance to live the life I wanted and had planned for myself. I remember making that conscious decision to invest in myself. It was a decision that has led to a tough journey, but ultimately paid off in the long run.
Lately, it feels like everything I’ve wanted in life has been falling into place. While I feel a little overwhelmed that this is all happening suddenly and at the same time, I realize I’ve spent the past two years working so hard to get to this point. It’s a result of all the hard work I’ve put in. I have learned so much about myself especially in the past year and I’m finally seeing the growth taking place because of it.
The other day, I graduated from therapy. I started seeing a therapist about a year ago because I felt lost and confused. I needed help finding my purpose as somebody with a chronic illness and finding my voice. I’m happy to say that I did find that, especially with the help of this blog! I have never felt so confident in what I have to offer. While I still have episodes of anxiety and will probably continue to have them, I am better able to manage it now with the tools I’ve learned in therapy.
I consider this time of my life a transition period. I recently got a new job in the College of Business at UNR coordinating the MBA and EMBA programs, which means I have to leave my current job at USAC where I have been for the past four years. USAC was a light to me when I was at my sickest, and allowed me the time I needed to get my health under control. It’s never easy leaving something that you have called home for so long, but I’m so ready for the next phase in my career and to grow further professionally. I never thought I would be qualified or good enough to land a position like this, but the fact that I was offered the job made me realize that I AM capable of doing hard things.
I also recently got back into the dating scene after being single for over two years. I realized I needed those two years to really work on myself. When I was really sick, I couldn’t even think about giving my energy to a relationship. I’m glad I took that time to work on myself and realize what I truly want in a partner. I am much more open-minded now about going on dates in the future and finding the man that will love and respect me for who I am.
I’ve also never felt so close to God. My faith seems to have grown tremendously in recent weeks and I feel really confident in where I stand in my relationship with Him. I guess I didn’t realize it in the small moments, but now more than ever I definitely feel His presence in my life. I finally gave up control and decided to trust in the plan He has for my life. With Him by my side, I feel like I can conquer the world.
By investing in myself, I have been able to see growth in each of these areas of my life and maintain my health at the same time. I was stuck in the idea of defining myself as a patient with chronic illness, but I know now that it doesn’t need to define how I choose to live my life. I feel so much more open-minded, confident, trusting, and cognizant of what I have to offer to the world and a potential partner. It all started with the intention to CHOOSE to give myself the trust I have earned and give myself permission to use my voice. The ability to choose the life you want to live is truly the most powerful gift of all.
Don’t be afraid to listen to what you want and need and to invest in yourself. I can promise you the pay-off will be worth it in the end.