The Courage to Heal

I just got back from Las Vegas where I attended the sixth annual Courage Ball hosted by the Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation Nevada Chapter. This was my second time attending the event and it was truly a beautiful and emotional night. I’ve been struggling the past month or so with symptoms and found myself filled with more frequent moments of anxiety and depression. After leaving the gala that night, something ignited in me. And it was hope.

I wasn’t expecting to see familiar faces. As I sat down at my table, I looked around and realized they were the same people I sat with two years ago. The best part is – they remembered who I was! After struggling mentally with my disease the past few weeks, this was the surge of energy I needed. I got to hug these people who I share a sad reality with, but do it with a smile on our faces knowing that we aren’t alone.

The icing on the cake was being able to bring my boyfriend this time around. You already know he got interrogated by everyone at our table. “How does he handle your disease?” “Is he understanding?” “We’ll have to take him outside if he isn’t treating you right!” We all had a good laugh about it, but on a serious note I couldn’t have been more excited for him to get a glimpse into my world with IBD. It was actually his idea to go, I didn’t have to ask or beg him. And when I told them that he fasted with me for my colonoscopy, they all said “well, he’s a keeper!”

I don’t normally gush about these things, but how lucky am I to have a partner whose first question when I don’t feel well is “how can I best support you right now?” Even as we were networking, he asked a patient’s wife “how can I be the best partner to Christie as she struggles with this illness?” She was stunned by the question and so was I, probably because of how thoughtful it was, but also how difficult it is to answer. The answer we settled on was ask questions, learn as much as you can, and always locate the bathrooms first.

The Courage Ball began six years ago in memory of Dana Marshall Bernstein who had Crohn’s disease and passed away at the age of 28 after a small bowel transplant. Dana wrote an acronym that was shared by her father, Ed Bernstein, at the event and I would like to share it here as it felt fitting for what I’ve been going through recently.

C rohn’s Disease does not define ME.

O nly how my body acts.

U lcerative Colitis does not define ME.

R emembering that I DO have a choice in how I deal with this disease saves me.

A llowing myself to separate the true ME from the disease ensures I don’t lose my TRUE self in the process.

G rieving my loss of health is healing, just so long as I remain there briefly.

E very obstacle I overcome illustrates the true strength we all have within us, even when we may doubt it ourselves.

T o fight the uphill battle against insidious IBD.

O ur best weapons are mindset, attitude, perception, faith, and love.

H olding these attributes close in our hearts at all times is our best bet at a fighting chance.

E very day my body and mind continue to amaze me at how they are able to persevere thru all of this.

A constant reminder that I CAN keep strong and keep going.

L oving myself, family, and those who support me to win this war together, I am not alone.

How lucky am I to be part of an organization that is doing such incredible, life-saving work. I challenge you to be someone’s courage to heal. Ask questions, check in on your friends, be a rock. It can make all the difference.

If you would like to donate to the Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation to support their efforts in finding a cure, please visit this webpage.