Grieving and Loss

In my mindfulness class last week, we talked about why we as humans hold onto things – specifically events that caused negative emotions. Things like fear, worry, anxiety, sadness, loneliness, anger, isolation. I learned that while it is good to sit with these emotions and process them, we don’t have to hold onto them so tightly. We can hold them lightly. Just enough to allow ourselves to move forward.

I’ve been faced with what feels like a lot of grief and loss lately. Loss of a relationship, loss of friendships, and loss of a community. I’m found grieving something that wasn’t meant for me, yet provided so much potential. It has caused me to re-evaluate the people I allow into my life and how vulnerable I want to be. I’ve been holding tight to these feelings of sadness, anger, and loneliness. The only thing setting me back is myself – which seems to be a recurring theme for me.

This season of my life is meant to be a lesson, whether I like it or not. I can sit here and be angry at God for not allowing things to go the way I wanted them to. Or I can sit here and put my full trust in God’s plan that he has something better in store for me. The reason we hang onto these emotions is because we fear the unknown. We would rather stay in something that isn’t good for us because we think we can fix or change the outcome. We also may hang onto things because we felt disrespected, betrayed, or unappreciated. These are not as easily forgivable.

My mindfulness instructor gave us this beautiful analogy that has stuck with me since. She said to picture ourselves floating down a river, but holding onto a tree branch. Hanging onto the branch is keeping us from flowing through the river. We don’t need to hold this branch for too long, or else we could get stuck. Life is going to continue to move. It’s our choice whether or not we want to move with it.

While I am still grieving, I am recognizing that it’s not doing me any good staying here. I am learning to hold my emotions in my hand lightly in the hopes that eventually I can let them go and move forward. This has been a hard season of life, but I know I’ll get through it with God’s help and trusting that something is waiting for me around the corner. Be right back, entering my healing era.

If you are experiencing grief or loss right now, please know that you are not alone. Keep flowing through that river.